brand new city by mitski // i, tonya (2017) // jennifer’s body (2009) // black swan (2010) // euphoria (s2 ep7) // regarding the röttgen pietà by elle emerson // femme bougie by gérard lartigue // fleabag // a taxi by euginiya dudnikova // shame is an ocean by mary lambert
i don’t have any feelings toward past versions of myself. I’m not sure I know those versions of myself enough to judge them. i want to know them, though. there are parts of them I still see in the current version of myself, and parts I can’t at all recognize. it might be time to gather around the table and have a chat together.
i saw this piece on Pinterest years ago and it always made me feel something. I’m not comfortable with uncertainty, but accepting the certainty of uncertainty as a pattern of life has been a humbling experience for me.
“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.”
— Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
